by Emily Kay
She lay still, as still as she could lie and continue to breathe. The clock on the wall ticked on at its usual steady pace. But its constant click-click seemed to deafen her. Not like it was in the kitchen, but more as if it were right next to her, on top of her chest. Tick-tick-tick. Her eyes were wide with sleeplessness and fear. Terror. Her breathing was shallow, her skin damp. She didn’t want to wake him. She mustn’t wake him. She would die if she woke him. Literally die. He would kill her if he knew what she planned to do, had to do, tomorrow. Today. The dull rays of sunrise had yet to slip their way through the closed blinds on her window, but she knew the time was at hand. Soon. Now. She held her breath for what seemed an eternity and silently, slowly, ever-so slowly, began rolling off her side of the double bed. He stirred, reaching for her in his drunken sleep. She let his arm hit her in the face and fall across her chest. She froze, willing him not to wake up. The relentless ticking of the clock became a pounding — ticking away precious seconds, minutes, as she lay, barely daring to breathe, beneath his heavy, hairy arm.
I began writing this short story in March 2009. This was some 20 years after my wife and I escorted pregnant women into Planned Parenthood as anti-abortion terrorists yelled vile threats at them, and decades before a fictional horror story became a horrific reality.
I began writing this short story in March 2009. This was some 20 years after my wife and I volunteered to accompany pregnant women across parking lots and sidewalks into Planned Parenthood and other women’s health clinics as anti-abortion terrorists yelled vile threats at them, and decades before a fictional horror story became a horrific reality. It’s about a poor girl who needs to end a pregnancy after the supreme court (lower case to reflect the disrespect we have for the so-called “justices” lording over our lives) has overturned Roe v. Wade. The state where she lives has immediately made abortion illegal — even for a youngster raped by her drunken father.
In the then-hypothetical narrative, the girl must sneak out of her parents’ home, where she lay in bed with her abusive and debauched daddy to hook up with the feminist underground that will take her to a clinic in another state that still allows abortions — like our own Massachusetts. When the terrified pregnant teen reaches the clinic, escorts must help her navigate the frenzy of screaming, right-wing, women-hating anti-abortionists who attempt to block her access.
She finally makes it into the facility and onto an examination table, only to be struck by a rock hurled through a window by one of the domestic terrorists outside, as another fanatic breaks through security and chains himself to the door. The girl, who can’t afford proper healthcare, is also diabetic, a disease that left uncontrolled increases the chances for birth defects and can threaten the would-be mother’s life as well.
I never finished the story but remembered it recently as women witnessed our bodily autonomy ripped from us by the corrupt, lunatic-fringe supreme court majority. Though I hope it does, I don’t know if the tale has a happy ending — especially as, in real life, state after state bans women from controlling our own bodies and encourages vigilantes to turn us into the police for miscarrying (!), traveling (!) to enlightened states to end pregnancies, or helping others with such arrangements.
She’s 10!
It’s difficult to imagine a cheerful outcome when an actual 10-year-old Ohio girl — she’s 10! — who was pregnant after she was raped had to cross state lines to Indiana to terminate her pregnancy.
It is also challenging to be positive about how we can fight these ever-escalating threats to our democracy, our freedoms, and our very lives, when we can’t even count on Democrats to prioritize abortion rights. President Biden says his administration “will do everything in its lawful power to fight back against the devastating decision overturning Roe v. Wade” — but nearly makes a deal with the devil, Mitch McConnell, to appoint an extremist anti-abortion lawyer to a lifetime federal judgeship in Kentucky.
Despite overwhelming opposition from lawmakers in his own party and hordes of what the administration termed “out of step” pro-choice activists, Biden eventually ditched the nomination because Rand Paul — RAND PAUL — objected to it.
Similarly, Speaker Nancy Pelosi and other top Dems claim to champion abortion rights but infuriated those of us on the left by endorsing anti-choice, pro-gun incumbent, Rep. Henry Cuellar (D-TX), over his progressive challenger. Jessica Cisneros lost in a recount squeaker by 289 votes.
We won’t go back!
Yet even with our elected allies working against us at times, we must continue to fight. Even through the rage, frustration, terror, and tears, we must elect pro-choice candidates at every level in the midterms this November, and in the presidential election in 2024. This means working and voting for both federal and state positions as well as local and municipal offices such as county commissioners, school boards, district attorneys, judges and sheriffs. We must help folks register to vote and then vote like our rights and our lives depend on it — because they do!
It is likely a losing battle, thanks to Republicans and DINOs Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema — who repeatedly side with their women-hating counterparts on the other side of the aisle — but we must keep pushing the Senate to suspend the filibuster and pass two House-backed bills. The Women’s Health Protection Act would codify a right to abortion as Roe v. Wade did. The Ensuring Access to Abortion Act would prohibit punishment of those traveling to other states for abortions and doctors who offer reproductive services outside their home states.
Here are other actions that Planned Parenthood and the ACLU recommend we take right now:
- Pledge to defend abortion rights.
- Share your story. Record a video or write about your abortion experience — your own abortion or helping someone through an abortion — and why abortion is critical to you and others.
- Discuss abortion rights with friends and family.
- Donate to abortion funds. Your financial support can help with transportation, childcare, lodging, and a myriad of other issues that people seeking to end their pregnancies must confront.
- Learn what you can do at the local level.
Watch our Action Springboard for ways to support pro-choice candidates in state and federal races.
Banner image CC by 2.0, Fibonacci Blue
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